


Less the Depth of Grief

by Blink23



Series: So This is a Thing, Then? [7]
Category: Riverdale (TV 2017)
Genre: Minor Character Death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-31
Updated: 2018-08-31
Packaged: 2019-07-04 22:09:29
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,243
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15850383
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Blink23/pseuds/Blink23
Summary: “Joaquin is here,” is all he says when he throws himself into the passanger side of Moose's car.“Okay...”“It's just- I didn’t-” Kevin crinkles his nose, adorable as ever, “Why aren’t you freaking out?”





	Less the Depth of Grief

**Author's Note:**

> just a short thing thats been sitting on my hard drive for FOREVER. I'm cleaning it out so I figured I'd post.

Locker rooms are filled with about a million half-truths and lies. Moose fundamentally knows this, has since he was in 6th grade and used to brag about kissing Cricket O’Dell in the park by his parent’s house. 

Of course, that was before the whole sexuality crisis. Despite his whole involvement in the notebook thing, talking about Midge and anyone else he hooked up with felt weird, but now it feels worse, because not only is Kevin basically everything to him, but they live together. He knows which side of the bed he gets when him and Kevin share. He knows Kevin sings to himself when he gets ready in the morning. He knows that Kevin’s almost constantly cold, and still feels uncomfortable without a shirt on, even if it’s just him, and makes the best pancakes Moose has ever eaten. 

He’s been domesticated, and he doesn’t really care to let any of the guys know what those moments are like, even though they ask.

Over the last few weeks it’s pretty much become common knowledge that he and Kevin are A Thing, Capital-A-Capital-T, though they’ve never come out and said it. With that comes the surprising curiosity of a bunch of straight teammates.

It’s after Chuck’s insistence that he’s getting laid so much he’s surprised Kevin can walk that he has to object. If it was anyone else he’d keep his mouth shut, he’s sure of it, but this is one of his good friends, and the only other person lingering after his physical therapy is him and Reggie, and he can’t let them just make shitty assumptions about Kevin.

“It’s not-- I mean, christ, Clayton, We haven’t even-”

Chuck’s eyebrows shoot up, “What? You haven’t…?”

“We’ve had sex,” He says, wincing as his voice goes abnormally high, “But not… that. It’s a big deal? I’m not – I’ve never done that before with a guy, and he’s only done it a couple times, which… honestly, I don’t want to think about.”

“Still-”

“There are a lot of ways to have sex. Penetration doesn’t have to be involved.”

“But with the asshole he was-”

“No,” He snaps, his hands going to fists, “No, I’m not even thinking about that little-” He gnashed his teeth at the thought of that punk getting his hands on Kevin. 

He was possessive. He always had been and probably always would be, but it made Kevin obviously uncomfortable, and Moose tried to reign it in. The thought of him giving it up to Joaquin, not realizing he was using him… the whole thing was enough to do his head in and turn him into a stupid rage monster.

“But you’re constantly all over one another?”

Reggie snorts, “And that’s putting it lightly. It’s always ‘Babe’ this and ‘Sweetheart’ that. He asks you to jump through hoops and you drop everything to do it. He’s just as bad. Dude looks at you with stars in his eyes.”

“It’s worse than you and Mi-”

Chuck freezes.

They won't talk about her to Moose, not since those assholes ruined her tribute. It's like everyone's not sure of how to proceed, especially since they broke up so he could date a guy.

Honestly, he just wishes they would. He talks about her with Kevin, sometimes; it's not some long ass thing or whatever, but minor things. 'This was her favorite place to get Chinese' or 'she liked apple juice when she was sick,' that type of thing. It helps to remember her as a living, breathing thing instead of a report on the news.

Kevin saves him from any awkwardness, his name flashing on his phone screen instantly getting moose to relax.

“Babe?”

“Can you come get me?” He asks, his voice sounding so small and upset it makes Moose’s chest ache, “I don’t think I should drive right now.”

“Of course. You’re at Pop’s right? Or did you meet Josie somewhere else?”

Kevin mumbles out a confirmation and Moose hangs up. 

“Ah, there it is, his baby asks for something and Big Moose bolts to-”

“Not now,” He snaps at Chuck, only limping slightly as he exits the locker room.

 

“Joaquin is here,” is all he says when he throws himself into the passanger side of Moose's car.

“Okay...”

"He just wanted to talk, but I told him to get lost. Fangs texted and said it wasn't like that, it was just to talk, but I don't know."

"Do you want to talk to him, Kev?"

“It-s just- I didn’t-” Kevin crinkles his nose, adorable as ever, “Why aren’t you freaking out? Shouldn't you go all caveman right now?”

“It’s- I mean, you’re not going to cheat. I know you.”

Kevin blinks at him.

“Chuck brought up Midge and I’m a little… out of it, I guess." 

"Moose..."

"Do you want me to pound his face in? I probably could? I just have to avoid my ribs.”

"Babe, How are you? With talking about her with the guys? I know you still feel a little weird, but..."

Moose sighs, staring at the brick wall infront of his truck.

“I broke up with her to be with you,” He says quietly, “I just- If I hadn’t, maybe-”

“No,” Kevin shakes his head, holding Moose’s hand in both of his own, “No, you can’t think like that. It’s not anyone’s fault except the psycho that did this. You broke up with her but that doesn’t mean anything as far as her dying. This would’ve happened whether you were her boyfriend or mine.”

“When we were shot… I protected her then. This could’ve-”

“You would’ve died, Moose. She wouldn’t’ve wanted you to think like this.”

“I loved her,” Moose says, “Not- not like you. Not anymore anyway. But I still did love her. We were friends for years – she was always like… the most positive person in the room, you know?"

Kevin smiles lopsidedly, "Yeah, I know."

"If I was struggling with school or whatever she would be the first person to tutor me or talk to me or try to cheer me up.”

“Believe me, I know," Kevin laughs, "I remember the time she tried to hooked me up with her cousin-”

“Wait what?”

“Yeah, she found out I was gay in eight grade year and marched right up and said ‘My cousin in Virginia is into guys, do you want his number? He’s really cute.’ and showed me a picture of this random guy...”

“Oh my god. That’s so… her. Wanting everyone included, wanting everyone to fit in and have someone and not be lonely.”

“Yeah. I never… I mean, You were around, you know I wasn’t like… having fag written on my locker or getting knocked down in the halls or things like that. I was more likely to get called fat than homo-"

"Mostly from my friends," Moose mutters, embarrassed. 

"-But I still would get comments, still would get looks. She was just trying to make it okay.”

“Was he?”

“Huh?”

“Was he cute?”

Kevin shrugs, “I mean, he looked like her. He was this tiny dark haired thing, so not really my type...”

Moose smiles at that. No, that wasn’t Kevin’s type at all, was it?

“We could’ve gone on double dates.”

“That would’ve been torture for me, probably, but I know she would’ve insisted,” Moose can feel his smile turn sad, “I’m going to miss her.”

Kevin rests his head on Moose’s shoulder, “I’m going to miss her too.”


End file.
